Oscars Night 2009

My gut feeling about the Academy Awards is that they are irrelevant, since they reward such crap many years (honestly, they should just give the awards based on box office receipts), but here we are again, liveblogging the Oscar ceremony (the folks at LAist are doing it, too) and giggling with delight to see Penélope Cruz and Meryl Streep on the red carpet at the Kodak Theater.

[8:34 pm]
Oh. My. God. Hugh Jackman is making an ass of himself on national television.

[8:36 pm]
And Anne Hathaway, too.

[8:39 pm]
Jackman can sing -- not a bad A-flat either.

[8:41 pm]
Meryl Streep is La Diva Assoluta.

[8:42 pm]
About that "rewarding crap" thing I wrote above -- Whoopi Goldberg for Ghost. Q.E.D.

[8:48 pm]
Holy crap. They actually got the Best Supporting Actress award right, and not only because I picked La Cruz. Plus a shout-out to Pedro Almodóvar, a real director to whom some of the hacks nominated tonight (*cough* Ron Howard *cough*) cannot hold a candle.

[8:54 pm]
Original Screenplay goes to Dustin Lance Black for Milk. I expect Milk to win big because the lefty issue surely guarantees lots of votes. To wit, the acceptance speech.

[9:02 pm]
Adapted Screenplay goes to Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire, which will likely also do well in categories where Milk is not nominated. Haha -- the clip showed some of the most egregious dialogue from Benjamin Button ("Sleep with me." -- "Absolutely"). Of course, they also picked one of the least memorable moments from Doubt, a screenplay that was practically flawless. I picked it, of course, because it is an astounding film, but it has no traction in a godless place like Hollywood.

[9:09 pm]
This show is going so fast that it is almost impossible to liveblog.

[9:17 pm]
Art Direction goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Picked it. This was really about the only good thing in this dog of a movie.

[9:22 pm]
Costume design goes to the costume drama (big surprise), The Duchess. Ooh, nice -- shout-out to composer Rachel Portman for the score to the movie, noting that it was not the music played during the intro to the movie (hah!).

[9:25 pm]
Yes, of course, Benjamin Button gets Makeup Design, too. All is going according to plan -- it will hopefully not win any of the big awards.

[9:53 pm]
It's official -- it's no longer any fun to make fun of the Oscar show. It's just too easy a target.

[10:09 pm]
If you picked anyone other than Heath Ledger to win Best Supporting Actor, you were a fool. That being said, the movie was, really, pretty awful, and Ledger's performance in it, sorry to say, was not even all that special, although he was certainly a talented actor.

[10:14 pm]
Bill Maher is a pompous ass, and he plays one on TV. I have to laugh that his stupid Religulous joke got no laugh (cue crickets chirping). Bill, your movie did not get nominated because it sucked. Who would have thought that you could actually be more sanctimonious than the religious fundamentalists you were trying to belittle? *sound of one person clapping*

[10:54 pm]
Picked it! A. R. Rahman wins Best Original Score for Slumdog Millionaire. Truth be told, all of the nominees were dull as dust. Even the excerpts selected to be played could barely hold one's interest. In other news, I'm falling asleep.

[11:49 pm]
It's still not over? Danny Boyle wins Best Director for Slumdog Millionaire. Kate Winslet wins Best Actress for The Reader. Sean Penn wins Best Actor for Milk, thanking all the "commie, homo-loving sons of guns" in the Academy. Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Film. I can't say that I agree with any of these choices, but none is an embarrassment. Good night!